


The Life He Could’ve had

by RougueShadowWolf



Series: 15 Minutes [49]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Always Female Stiles Stilinski, Derek and Stiles are Mates, F/M, Female Stiles Stilinski, Happy Derek Hale, Jackson Feels, Kids, M/M, Miscarriage, POV Jackson Whittemore, Teen Pregnancy, maybe fluff not sure
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-19
Updated: 2015-05-19
Packaged: 2018-03-31 08:23:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,326
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3970843
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RougueShadowWolf/pseuds/RougueShadowWolf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Watching the life he could’ve had was perhaps the worst punishment Jackson could’ve ever experienced, and yet experience it he did.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Life He Could’ve had

**Author's Note:**

> My friend let’s call her today Cherry as she was last time Thursday and did not appreciate it much, she asked for a fic where Stiles and Jackson had a relationship once but he left her while she was pregnant for Lydia, and in the end Stiles miscarries the baby and finds happiness in Derek Hale and Jackson has to deal with it. Now I got the wrong end of the stick here darlings, she meant for me to write the drama thing with the pregnancy and break-up and instead I made a future-fic but thankfully Cherrie liked it.

 

Jackson Martin-Whittemore emptied the glass of scotch laced with wolfs bane just enough to give him a pleasant buzz that wouldn’t last long enough to count, it’s been ten years since he and Lydia had been back in Beacon Hills.Jackson would have rather been anywhere else than there, but he had been summoned to attend the celebration of a union that had lasted ten years while so many others had fallen apart, his Alpha had been married for ten years and if he wanted to stay under the protection of the Hale pack they needed to be there.

 

`We should get going unless we want to be late.´ his wife said while slipping on her black stilettos.

 

Jackson wasn’t all that surprised to see Lydia wearing the first dress she’d tried on. Jackson couldn’t help but roll his eyes at seeing the choice Lydia had made, after watching her change from one dress to another it was almost irritating to find she was wearing the first one she’d tried on. 

 

The dress sat perfectly on her impressive figure, the slim fitting lace over satin black and white dress. She looked stunning and she knew it. 

 

The drive from Hotel to the Hale House was a silent one, and Jackson had to wonder how after only being married for two years they had reached this point where they couldn’t bring themselves to talk to each other.Resentment was a large part of their relationship and he knew he was as much to blame for the state they were in as Lydia was, it had been naïve and stupid to think getting married would somehow swipe the slate clean of every hurtful thing said and done; it had been ridiculous to think Lydia would suddenly change her views of family just because he put a ring on her finger while she was wearing a pretty white wedding dress. People didn’t just change because of a ring and vows of everlasting love. 

 

The Hale House was to Jackson’s surprised decked in horrible homemade and handmade decorations, all of the decorations looked like they were all made by little children and maybe they were because the last Jackson had heard Stiles Stilinski or Hale as she now was had three little ones of her own.

 

`Look at those horrible things, ´ Lydia said when she finally looked up from her smart phone, `What was she thinking putting those atrocities up? ´ Lydia looked like the decorations were personally offending her which they probably were on some level. 

 

`Be nice.´ Jackson said with a growl, they could not get kicked out of yet another Pack affair because of Lydia’s hatred towards Stiles, she gave him a sharp glare which was as good as her telling him to shut-up. Jackson parked the rental car next to the same good damn Camaro the Alpha had been driving around in way back when life was much simpler and Jackson believed Lydia was it for him. 

 

The house hadn’t changed much since the last time he’d been there, there were a lot of pictures hanging on the walls none of them were the black and white posed ones that adorned the Martin-Whittemore house, he didn’t really look at them simply because they were running late and they had no idea where to go. 

 

Both the house and the garden Stiles had created had been shown in one of those magazines Lydia would browse through during flights, seeing Stiles and her home as well as the garden had been a shock to Lydia, there had been a picture in the magazine of a beaming and heavily pregnant Stiles Stilinski standing amongst white roses and that image had stuck in Jackson head for years. 

 

`Look at these pictures,´ Lydia snorted sounding as unimpressed by the colorful pictures as she had been by the decorations outside, `Their pure chaos, unclear pictures of what,´ Jackson was just about to tell her to stop dissecting everything, the images hanging on the walls appeared to be of a family where life wasn’t all posed and made to look like a part of some magazine, but instead his attention was grabbed by the feeling of someone tugging at the pants-leg of his very expensive Italian suite.

 

Jackson wasn’t sure what he had been expecting to find, but a little girl wearing a pretty pink princess dress with tulle and white embroidery, was not what he had been expecting. The child couldn’t be much older than three or maybe four. 

 

`You go outside.´ the little girl with wide brown eyes said voice bright and clear which seemed to snap Lydia out of criticizing the assortment of family photographs, `Party outside, silly. Not inside.´ 

 

`Laura, honey,´ the familiar voice of Melissa McCall caught the little girls attention and she released her hold off of Jackson and ran towards the woman who had married Sheriff Stilinski a few years back but held the name she shared with her son, `You’re not supposed to be down here sweetheart your mama needs you upstairs.´ 

 

`Oh, I forgot.´ the little girl Laura said all apologetic while running towards Melissa with her arms open wide and as if practices Melissa lowered herself down enough to easily catch and pick up the little princess in pink, `I sorry nana.´

 

`Its fine Laura.´ Melissa said before giving the little girl a quick peck on the cheek.

 

`I was helping them.´ it was only then as the child who was obviously Laura Olivia Hale that Melissa noticed or accepted the presence of Jackson and Lydia, `They silly and think the party inside, but I told them it outside.´ and Laura just kept talking and talking while Melissa carried her away trusting Lydia and Jackson to follow the directions the little girl had given them, the girl talks even though she waves at Jackson who gives her a short wave in return.

 

He feels something strange settle in his chest. 

 

They walk through the house and a picture drawn with colorful crayons catches his eye, the picture has been framed and in the picture is the Hale family and the pack the only people missing was him and Lydia, but it wasn’t that what made him pause it was the figures with butterfly wings that made him pause. Each figure, person, had their name written above their head and one of what Jackson would call butterfly-angels was one Miranda Christine Hale the baby girl he’d created but who was lost before she was ever given a chance to live. 

 

`Jackson.´ Lydia barks at him like his an idiot and maybe he is. 

 

The garden Stiles had created with hard work was in full bloom and it was visibly much larger than the written word in the magazine had suggested,the garden had indeed been expanded or at least that was a part of a conversation between two women Jackson did not recognize, they talked about how Derek and Stiles had agreed to allow Homes and Gardens to write about their house and garden.

 

There were tables and chairs spread out and about an area, there were even more of those homemade decorations which were all cheerfully colorful which made them somehow even more offensive towards Lydia’s taste, she criticized every little paper flower or leaf or origami crane or swan she saw. 

 

While Lydia found it all very cheap in appearance Jackson found it all strangely appealing, to him it was all warm and welcoming. They tried to locate their table because Lydia’s feet were killing her, the soft ground was not friendly to those wearing heals. There were a lot of children running about which rubbed Lydia the wrong way because it would never fly at any of her parties, but this wasn’t Lydia’s party but Stiles’ and having children running around chasing each other seemed like something Stiles would appreciate. 

 

`So how many children do they have now? ´ Lydia sighed as she sat down at the table that had yet to be occupied by the others signed to it, `Is it three? ´ 

 

`Five.´ a familiar voice answers and it had Jackson spinning around ready to hug Danny Mahealani but the little boy in the arms of his formal best friend made it impossible, he couldn’t risk getting Lydia’s wrath rain over him because he got drool on his fine suite. 

 

He’d nearly forgotten that Danny was now married to a great guy called Ethan who’d in a sign of loyalty and love to Danny and his family changed his last name to Mahealani, and Jackson was sure Danny’s mother loved talking about her son-in-law Dr. Ethan Mahealani to everyone she knew.

 

There had been a time when Jackson would have known everything about Danny’s life, but that had changed when heand Lydia with the help and support of Allison Argent spread horrible rumors about Stiles; once Danny realized what a scumbag Jackson was the goodhearted male pulled away from him which Jackson now understood was reasonable and even if Danny forgave him somewhat with the passing of time they could never be the same again.

 

`And I have it on good authority she’s pregnant again.´ Ethan says all smiles, Danny nods and smiles like this piece of news was nothingnew.

 

`I think they’ll keep on having kids until get a boy.´ Danny sighed but there was a warm smile on his face, which caused Ethan to laugh, `Well the old Sheriff does want a grandson so he can at least avoid some of the tea parties the girls keep throwing.´ 

 

`Someone should really tell her to stop having children.´ Lydia says as a set of twin girls, identical in appearance, both wearing a similar dress to the little girl Laura appear, but unlike the little girl they resembled more their father in appearance, the two girls came running up to Danny and Ethan just to say hello and kiss the top of the head of the baby in Danny’s arms. 

 

Talia and Claudia, the two girls, talked as one looked the same and behaved alike, but neither one stayed for long to talk with their uncle Danny and Ethan because uncle Scott and Auntie Kira had arrived; Kira was Scott McCall’s wife number two, his marriage with Allison lasted three years which according to Lydia had been rather strained because Allison’s affection changed and Scott had never really forgiven Allison for her part in making Stiles High School Years a living hell. 

 

`Then do it Lydia, ´ Danny snarls, when the two girls had ran off to throw themselves at Scott and the woman Kira, `I’d like to see how Alpha Hale reacts to you suggesting there is something wrong with having children that love you and adore you.´ Jackson was momentarily confused over Danny’s words until he remembered the stupid thing his wife had said, he nearly groaned unhappily because he really couldn’t stand remembering how uptight Lydia could be. 

 

`Oh, he heard it alright.´ Ethan says wearing what could only be described as an evil smirk, and he nods towards Derek Hale who comes walking down the garden path dressed in the same three-piece suite he’d worn ten years ago when he married the peculiar female who’s name not even the priest had known how to pronounce. Jackson smiles at the memory of how Derek, the Sheriff and Melissa all said together, `Just call her Stiles.´

 

Derek glares over at Lydia. before giving the two one year old girls he’d been carrying a gentle kiss before handing them over to Boyd and Erica both cooing over the little girls like they were as good as theirs, it was very clear that Derek didn’t care whether or not his little ones messed up his suite, Jackson had a feeling the kids could do anything to the Alpha and he would just smile and beam proudly down at them.

 

After Lydia’s blunder neither Danny or Ethan talked to them much, it was evident they did not take kindly to someone suggesting having children was a bad thing, so Jackson focused on the other guests. 

 

There were a lot more people around for the celebration of the ten year long marriage and there were a lot more faces Jackson didn’t recognize, and most of these guests were supernatural creatures, every single one of them seemed rather comfortable in their surroundings unlike Jackson and Lydia.

 

Mr. Stilinski was all smiles and laughter while talking to Derek, the animosity that had once been there between the two seemed now long gone, nothing more than a distant memory of sorts.Isaac Lahey’s arm was wrapped around Cora Hale, Derek’s sister who had somehow managed to survive the Hale fire the young happy couple were talking to Peter Hale who looked as pleased with life as his nephew was. **** Everyone in the pack except for Jackson and Lydia seemed incredibly happy and relaxed with life. 

 

Soon enough Melissa McCall appeared and asked everyone to take their seats, it was clear that even if Stiles had much more say this time around regarding the celebration of her union with Derek Hale, Melissa was still in charge of things; the original wedding of Derek and Stiles had been planned and perfected by Melissa, every detail had her approval back then and perhaps even now. 

 

Peter Hale hurried towards the small table that looked like it had been made from pieces of driftwood and branches found about the Preserve. Derek walked over to the table but stood before it eyes focused up towards the house, and as the music began to play it some strange composition Jackson did not recognize but there was something very fitting about the music the violin and cello created, the older twin girls came walking out of the house throwing flower petals down the path they took.

 

Unlike the first time around when Derek Hale been standing in the old church which had been built in the late-1800, with Boyd at his side, Derek looked absolutely comfortable where he was standing all relaxed now. Perhaps it was because the werewolf was no 150% certain that Stiles wouldn’t stand him up, or perhaps because he knew there wasn’t a soul around that would object this time around. Jackson wasn’t sure what the reason for the change in the Alpha was, but it was indeed a good one and it was one Jackson wished he possessed.

 

When the two eight year old girls decided to break the protocol by spontaneously hugging their father, Derek’s smile grew twice its size, but the signs of affection were cut short by Melissa who told the girls to take their places. 

 

But before Claudia or was it Talia released the Alpha a loud and familiar voice shouted from the direction of the house, `MAMA’S COMING DADDY! ´ the child that had advised Jackson and Lydia that the party was outdoors caused some of the guests to laugh with her sudden outburst of information, just from the voice Jackson could tell the child was genuinely excited by the event, `ARE YOU READY DADDY?´ 

 

`Yes baby, I’m ready.´ Derek laughed, voice full of love and affection.

 

`MAMA!´ the first Hale Jackson and Lydia had come across after their return to Beacon Hills shouted very seriously while Melissa stood up ready intervene but the proud grandfather just pulled her back to their seat, smiling while shaking his head, `DADDY’S SAYS HE’S READY! BUT HE NO LOOK LIKE A PRINCE, IS THAT OKAY? ´ 

 

The guests couldn’t hold in the laughter anymore but neither could Derek Hale who laughed with such an abundance of humor and joy that it threw Jackson through a loop, he’d never seen his Alpha throw his head back and laugh so fully that his body shook. 

 

No one heard what the lady of the house said but soon enough the little girl that had been informing her parents rather loudly of their situation came skipping and twirling down the garden path throwing flower petals every which way, and for some reason Jackson found himself thinking he’d wished he’d had been blessed with such an energetic and happy little girl. And that wish was like a punch in the heart because Jackson knew he’d been presented with such a possibility long ago and failed to grasp it in his youthful arrogance.

 

But soon he lost sight of regret if only for the briefest of moments because Stiles Stilinski stepped outside and seeing her now left him breathless. If Stiles Stilinski had looked happy and beautiful on her wedding day then today she was simply divine. The mother of several equally beautiful children radiated happiness the sort Jackson had never seen before, or believed to have ever experienced. The girl he had treated badly thirteen years ago was beyond beautiful in her 1930 styled wedding gown with ornate French lace, the high empire line and the silk sash made her look like she should have been posing for one of Lydia’s magazines and not walking through a garden just to renew the promise she’d made ten years ago.

 

Jackson felt like he’d made a horrible mistake when he’d rejected the love Stiles had bestowed upon him, love she’d granted him so easily even after all those years he mocked her and her best friend.

 

He watched as Hale stood there at the end of the path, a few more lines on his face all of them like a symbol for all the years he’d spent laughing and smiling instead of scowling and glaring, and the way the older werewolf was looking at his wife of _ten_ years told Jackson Derek Hale was still madly in love with the woman walking towards him; Derek’s eyes were soft and warm with happiness and pure undeniable love. 

 

Jackson didn’t miss the way Hale made a move to go to his mate or the way Peter Hale had to reach out to stop him, and Jackson didn’t miss the whine that escaped the Alpha when he was made to wait for his wife to come to him.

 

_ I could be standing there, all smiles and full of happiness,  _ Jackson thought bitterly as he took in the change in his Alpha, _I could be happy like him if only…_

 

Then before he could finish his the thought he heard little Laura say once more far too loudly to please Melissa, `Mama is like a Disney princess, or better.´ 

 

`Agreed.´ both Derek and Peter said, and Jackson agreed that there was not a single Disney princess who could hold a candle to Stiles beauty. 

 

A bright blush washed over Stiles cheeks, and if possible it made her look even more fetching in Jackson’ eyes, he was too taken by the sight of the woman with white roses in her hair, that he didn’t hear his wife say her less than kind opinion of the little girl who was bouncing on the spot she was standing. Jackson wanted to touch Stiles and feel the silky smoothness of her hair he wanted to feel the long strands slip through his fingers. He wanted to change places with Derek Hale. 

 

The ancient looking pearl necklace Stiles had worn on her wedding day once more adorned swan-like neck, and something about the sight of the pale flesh of her neck made Jackson _want_ to mark her the way he had done years ago while trying to spur jealousy in Lydia’s heart, and his wolf growled with lust and want, until it began to growl with anger due to the fading mark he could see whisper from below Stiles right ear, it was a mark made by another. 

 

Ethan gave Jackson a questioning look before flashing his Alpha red eyes at him. 

 

Jackson hated to admit it but Stiles seemed happier now than all those years ago when she walked down to accept Derek Hale as her lawful wedded husband, and still she looked so very coy from all the attention placed on her as she came down the garden path. 

 

`She’s very pretty daddy, isn’t she?´ Laura asked once again so loudly that even the people at the very back could hear her, and as Derek’s answer Stiles blush something fierce. 

 

`She’s always very pretty baby.´ Derek said without even glancing away from the woman he’d taken as his own when Jackson had thrown her away like yesterday’s trash.

 

Watching the slim figure move surprisingly gracefully towards her husband, Jackson was suddenly very much aware what he **’** d lost. He could have had the beautiful wife who smiled as though she had never been touched by grief even though he knew she had, grief’s matched only by her husband’s but like Stiles there was no sign of the sorrow or the misery that had once made Derek Hale appear resentful towards everyone around him as well as gloomy in such that you’d think the world was about to end, it was almost as if someone had changed the Alpha completely; and someone had and their name was Stiles Stilinski who had for ten years been Stiles Hale and not Stilinski. ****

 

There was a softness to the Alpha that Jackson had never seen before, and he wondered could love truly mend and change a person so much?

 

And while Jackson took in the family Stiles had managed to gain, while he looked at Laura Hale who couldn’t stand still for a moment or quiet for that matter, he began to think that he could have had it all; it could have been Jackson standing there wearing a smile of pure joy, eager and ready to renew the words of devotion spoken years ago in front of friends and family.

 

Jackson could have had a house that whispered so seductively of love and happiness instead of the modern and slightly cold building he and Lydia called a home, there could have been pictures of his and Stiles family on the walls of a house Stiles would have made so comfortable and welcoming making Derek into nothing more than a footnote in their lives.

 

All those beautiful girls he’d seen today might not have ever been born, they could have been replaced by children that carried his and Stiles’ features and maybe there might have been a boy somewhere or more than just one. Maybe if Jackson had accepted his responsibilities years and years ago then maybe he’d now be a father to a girl of almost thirteen; he could imagine her strong and proud like him, but with the gentleness of her mother, no child of Stiles could ever grow cold and heartless. 

 

Maybe if Jackson had been a better man he could’ve been crawling into a warm welcoming bed, where his kisses and touches weren’t unwelcomed. 

 

Jackson found himself missing the genuine shows of affection that had come so easily from Stiles, maybe if he’d just listened to Danny’s opinion, listened to his advice before he made it impossible to ever be truly forgiven by Stiles Stilinski, then maybe just maybe he could’ve had what Derek possessed now. Maybe if he’d chosen Stiles over Lydia Jackson could be crawling into bed tonight with a woman who carried his child with pride and joy instead of crawling into bed with a woman who aborted every little baby that was created from a brief moment of lust.

 

Jackson begins to wonder how it would feel to know the love of a child, to hear a child shout out daddy the way Laura had done and feel the arms of a child wrap themselves around him, or to be able to carry a child around like Derek and Danny could.

 

When Stiles walked past Jackson he gained a good view of the little bump that was barely there, you had to really aim to see it to notice there was a new life growing within the woman who wore white and a bright smile. 

 

Jackson wished Stiles would look at him, wished she’d see what he wanted and felt, but she seemed to only have eyes for her mate and Jackson felt a sting of jealousy hit him like a ton of bricks.

 

She’d loved him once, Jackson knew Stiles had loved him once, and he’d let her slip away for Lydia who never looked at him the way Stiles looked at Derek Hale. A bitter taste rose in his mouth as he was made to face the truth, he had rejected Stiles love for something lesser.

 

Forced to watch Derek embrace Stiles as if she had been away from him for months, Jackson felt ill. Forced to watch his Alpha kiss the girl Jackson had once kissed and fucked without love or much affection Jackson Whittemore wanted to leave but he could not move, for he wanted to stay close to Stiles. 

 

Jackson is painfully aware that he could have had it all, he could have had everything Derek now held and Jackson knows that it’s his own fault that he didn’t have any of the things Derek had gained by just waiting to see Jackson screw-up. 

 

Jackson watches bitterly the exchange of love and affection between his Alpha and the Alpha’s mate. He tries not to hear the words spoken about a life spent together, one which had held heartache and immense joy.

 

Jackson Whittemore hated Derek Hale. 

 

Watching Stiles and Derek kiss while Peterbound their hands together, a kiss that was not necessary yet, he watched as tears of joy slipped from the eyes of the Alpha and his mate, and Jackson could see how both Stiles and Derek smiled as they kissed how they even laughed a little as if they had shared a secret joke shared between kisses.

 

Jackson wanted what Derek had with Stiles, and Jackson hated the way his life was. 

 

And Jackson hates knowing now that this life he sees Derek living could've and should've been his life.

 


End file.
